'She wanted to pay cash over the phone': 20+ Senseless souls who left the people around them speechless

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Mar 15, 2024 11:00 AM EDT

Even the smartest person in the room occasionally has a memory lapse. It happens to all of us at some point. However, there are people who seem chronically out of the loop, catastrophically dim, or unreasonably unprepared for daily life. We love these people all the same, but their off-the-wall remarks still stick with us. 

One Redditor who goes by u/_FrankAbagnale asked for people to share the "dumbest question someone legitimately asked you," and more than 31k people replied. Some people were in for a startling awakening, like the woman who wondered what meat was in her turkey sandwich. We hate to break it to you, but… 

Another person made the mistake of trying to pay for something over the phone using cash. Well… cash doesn't quite work that way, but thanks for calling! And of course, the cashiers of the world have fielded many an odd question. Shoppers have all sorts of intriguing questions about their groceries or other products. Cashiers have to have mountains of patience to deal with inane questions day in and day out. 

Speaking of people who aren't the brightest bulbs, this customer insisted she needed camping equipment… but she kept trying to buy it at a store that wasn't yet open for business. 

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  • 01
    '(I used to work at a bakery). A customer once asked me: "When the bread isn't warm anymore, that means it's not fresh anymore, so I can have it for free right?" - "no"
    via Yeh Xintong on Unsplash
  • 02
    What is the dumbest question someone legitimately asked you?
    via u/
  • 03
    busykim Had a customer ask if she could pay her bill over the phone. I asked what kind of credit card.... cash. She wanted to pay cash over the phone.
    via u/busykim
  • 04
    LOIL99 In grade 10 science a girl argued vehemently with our teacher that zebras were a mythical creature, like a unicorn. After asking why they paint the stripes on the horses for the nature videos. I assure you, it was not a troll.
    via u/LOIL99
  • 05
    VBHSW "Are you gay" "No." "Why?" Hm I don't know Jerry, just not feelin' it today.
    via u/VBHSW
  • 06
    nighthawkcoupe (Looking at her sandwich) What animal does turkey come from?
    via u/nighthawkcoupe
  • 07
    lebaneseblondechick. I used to be a cast member at a rennaisance faire, and we did fairly historic reenactment, right down to the wood burning oven at our village inn.
    via u/lebaneseblondechick
  • 08
    I once had a grown man ask me if the fire in the fire pit was real, and what would happen if he stuck his hand in it. 10 ಠ_ಠ
    via u/lebaneseblondechick
  • 09
    TrynUrLuck Someone asked me at work if this mirror was expired because it had a manufactured date on the back....
    via u/TrynUrLuck
  • 10
    12-7 Jamochajon I was weighing a patient, and she asked me if it measured in Celsius.
    via u/Jamochajon
  • 11
    MelilDeMolihua My eyes are two different colors, and the question I'm most often asked about them is, "Did you know your eyes are two different colors?" I'm amused when someone asks me whether I see different colors out of each eye, or even better - - whether I "see in 3D."
    via u/MelilDeMolihua
  • 12
    ef6697 As a cashier: "Why is my ice cream cake melting!?" It was the summer and 100°F outside, it was 80°F inside
    via u/ef6697
  • 13
    enfanta A coworker at the library was asked for aerial photos of the Coliseum in Rome. Before it was in ruins. Edit: Colosseum.
    via u/enfanta
  • 14
    BrainPainn One day one of my students said "Ew, I have to work today." To which I replied, "So do I." He looked at me and asked, honestly, "Oh really? Where do you work?"
    via u/BrainPainn
  • 15
    "Here...I work here...right where I am standing. I don't do this as a service to your parents."
    via u/BrainPainn
  • 16
    Klymizz An American once asked me to say something in my 'native tongue'. I'm Australian. off you dopey
    via u/Klymizz
  • 17
    noahtherichman my own sister asked me how we were related to my grandparents
    via u/noahtherichman
  • 18
    -SkaffenAmtiskaw-. Boss: "Could you print out that file, scan it, and email it to me?" Me: "I could just email it to you." Boss: ...
    via u/-SkaffenAmtiskaw-
  • 19
    architectmillenial. Not anything super mind-boggling, but I worked as a server at a infamous "Italian" restaurant during college. Here's my interaction with a guest one evening: G: "I'd like to order the spaghetti with marinara sauce, but can I get fettuccine noodles instead?"
    via u/architectmillenial
  • 20
    M: "Sure thing." G: "Oh, and I'd like to please substitute the marinara with Alfredo sauce. And please add chicken." M: ".... I would have to charge you for the chicken Alfredo, then." (Note there was a few dollars in price difference between the two dishes, Alfredo being more expensive).
    via u/architectmillenial
  • 21
    G: "But I ordered the spaghetti with marinara." I legitimately had to argue with this person for few moments as to why I couldn't magically substitute out the entire entree for a different one with no price difference. Guest ended up being super crabby for the remainder of the time and I'm fairly certain didn't tip at all.
    via u/architectmillenial
  • 22
    Doffy-Mingo If you had a heart transplant, would your memories go away?
    via u/Doffy-Mingo
  • 23
    ecodrew How long did it take you to drive from Australia - to America? I've been asked this twice. I wish I could say I had a witty response, but my brain froze as it tried to compute the stupidity of the question.
    via u/ecodrew
  • 24
    ETA: No offense to Americans, just these two particular idiots. I've lived in the U.S. most of my life.
    via u/ecodrew
  • 25
    Supersayian495 If pasta is a food. She then proceeded to actually argue that it wasn't.
    via u/Supersayian495
  • 26
    joceyposse Going through the border from Canada -- into the U.S.: Border Guard: "What's your citizenship?" Me: [hands over passport, which notes my birthplace as Vancouver, British Columbia] "Canadian."
    via u/joceyposse
  • 27
    Border Guard: "No, what's your citizenship?" Me: louder "I'm Canadian." Border Guard: yelling "What's your citizenship?!" Me: "I don't know what you're asking me!" Border Guard: "Where were you born? Was it Colombia?"
    via u/joceyposse
  • 28
    Me: "British Columbia is a province in Canada." Border Guard: waves me through
    via u/joceyposse
  • 29
    GxRandy A girl asked me if honey came from bears. I'll never forget it.
    via u/GxRandy
  • 30
    [deleted] I used to work for Bank of America as a teller. Someone gave me half a $20 bill and asked for $10. They did not understand that it's either worth $20 or nothing.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 31
    Mirtie I was training a new colleague in the café I worked at. We have a number of plant-based milk substitutes, as I was trying to explain to her.
    via u/Mirtie
  • 32
    "Some people don't drink dairy, often because cow's milk contains lactose." "Alright, so what animal does soy milk come from?"
    via u/Mirtie
  • 33
    AlexVanderspek94 I used to work at Disney World and a question I would get on the daily is "What time is the 3 o'clock parade?"
    via u/AlexVanderspek94
  • 34
    milomcfuggin Used to be a radio DJ and had a feature called the 80s at 8. Someone called and asked what time it started. Edit: You're just going to have to trust me that people knew it was sometime in the PM hours.
    via u/milomcfuggin
  • 35
    PranavAC My friend saw someone with a tattoo of a cross on their wrist and asked them, "Hey, is that tattoo yours?" No matter how many times he tries to explain what he meant. by this, I still don't get it.
    via u/PranavAC
  • 36
    kotobaaa Working IT desk. "Do y'all have any of them wireless internet cables?" My steady deadpan blinking face wasnt enough of a response so my colleague chimed in and said, "It's already plugged in"
    via u/kotobaaa
  • 37
    synalgo_12 If penguins need water to survive, doesn't that means they're fish?
    via u/synalgo_12
  • 38
    Bcause789 (I used to work at a bakery) a customer once asked me: "When the bread isn't warm anymore, that means it's not fresh anymore, so I can have it for free right?" -_-"no"
    via u/Bcause789

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